FORGET ME NOT, HE SAID – MWANSA AGNESS CHUNGU

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FORGET ME NOT, HE SAID BY MWANSA AGNESS CHUNGU*

 

I remember I stood for long hours in the shower

And just let the water run down my body and wash me clean.

Despite the water pouring on my body I still felt his hands and body on me.

How he forced his masculine self on my fragile body.

 

How he whispered to me that “no man will ever make you feel like I do”.

How he brought me close to him as though he loved me

But all he wanted was to satisfy his own desires.

 

I remember how he laid me down all night long without having to breathe…

Without my bones to rest for they were tired.

My friends would ask “why are you still with him?

Why do you allow him treat you like this?

You deserve better!”

 

I know they meant well and I too couldn’t understand why I was still with him.

Maybe I was afraid of being alone… of not having a man by my side.

Maybe I loved how he made love to me

With his aggressive passion rolling down my spine.

 

I never understood and still don’t understand why?

I remember when I decided to leave the look of sadness and loneliness in his eyes.

And the sincerity of his words “forgive me”.

Forgive me he said “for I know you have all the rights to leave and start anew.

For I have treated you like a slave.

A slave to my aroused desires.

Desires that burn whenever I look at you.

Whenever I stared deep within your eyes.

For your eyes always spoke to my soul more than any other.

 

Forgive me for painting this image in your memory lane

And not creating memories of beautiful love that you always wanted.

I wish I did things right with you but I guess it’s already too late”

 

Without no words being uttered from my mouth…

Tears slipping down my cheeks.

I walked out despite knowing that all the years I was with him…

The words he just said where the purest of them all that he has ever said to me.

And in my heart I knew that I forgave him.

 

*EXTRACTED FROM: MEMOIRS OF A TORMENTED SAUL