Dry Wounds

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Dry Wounds

by kumbu

My wounds are old and dried up now

It hurts but only for a second or only when it rains

My wounds are no longer visible now

I even washed off the marks that were left behind, the red stains

The strips on my hands fit me well

I tell people it’s a birth mark and quickly change the subject, I’ve mastered the story I tell

The phantom heart I carry has taken on its role just fine

I do not want to change it or exchange it for the real thing, maybe I will after a while

There’s air in my bones and they rattle when temperatures fall

Because I am reminded of things and names I cannot say out loud like Voldermort

My pain is seasonal or timely and easily controlled

It pops up every now and then but suppressing it is nothing short of basic instinct

I had to relearn to be alive

Adaptation is key, they say, so I decided to not let my heart revive

My wounds are old and dried up now

Like a dog I licked them when flies gathered round

I kept them fresh because it was a constant reminder and I picked pain over all else

Happiness slapped me in the face but still I was unmoved

No one understands this by me so why bother to explain it

A bunch of Neanderthals think this is easy

Words of a Neanderthal ironically

But I’m good now

My wounds are old and dried up now

In summer, I forget they exist

Not even distant whispers are detected and relapse is easy to resist

I get a constant high from what can only be described as bliss

And my mind is home to only the best of intentions

In the winter though, I spend some of my days in rehab

Some days are worse than others and some days I completely forget

But still, my wounds are old and dried up now

I do not tend to them every day like a garden

The vines of my pain are brittle and weak now

Dwarfed from attention deprivation that definitely did not happen all of a sudden

It took discipline to not pick at these sores

It took me understanding that healing takes time

Patiently I peeled off the dead skin that appeared every couple of months

Let it sting, let my skin grow a couple of lumps

But my wounds are old and dried up now

My wounds are but a tiny spot now

 

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