Addiction
by Kumbu
She craved serenity
A piece of mind always seemed in the far distance so she welcomed the calamity
She had always had it harder. Had to fight a little more for what she wanted
She’d feel up so high till all her hopes crash landed
It had never been easy, never calmed down smoothly
Instead, blowing winds and rushing waves hitting against the walls of her tormented mind
Constantly slipping off unable to weather the storm or calm the tide
Rather grab on to the control and withstand the bumpy ride
She watched from a distance as he grabbed her waist
Her lips swaying to the music all so elegantly as he lost himself in her like his brain had been laced
She had been replaced
At least in that moment when she needed him the most, she had been replaced
Misplaced emotion fill her up. She takes a couple more shots
This will numb the pain
At dawn, he returns
Her kryptonite, her mistake
He could rub his fingers together and she could break
See, she had tried to stop herself from falling, fought it with every breathe
But all the fight did was eat at her strength
‘I Love you too’
The words echoed through her and she broke in two
He had played his final card, banged his gavel
Not knowing what he unleashed was havoc
She clung to him like mud to a shoe
Washed off every time then stuck again whenever he wanted her to
She smiled, oblivious to the power that he had over her
She drifted for a while
With fantasies of early mornings and forever after
Evening fights and late night laughter
Mistaking love for torture
As she hang on to the hopes that bound her
“Just a little bit longer” She muffled under her breathe. “Just love me a little bit harder”
The arms she craved around her would be the very hands to harm her
Her connection from imagination to reality severed
Reality, now loopy
There is no happily ever after and yet she clung on only to postpone the misery
The inevitable pain that awaits at the end of the roller coaster ride of the ride that she got on singularly with the sole reason to enjoy one last ride
To feel one last high
“I’m fine” she said as she put poison to her lips
She cradles him slowly with the rhythm in her body and watches him fall
‘Stop Him!’ her conscious screams but she’s beyond saving, out of control
The damage has been done and the option for retreat withdrawn
And in the painful silence she admits this drug, this addiction
This weakness can be used as ammunition
Eyes watery and legs shaking
There is no happy ending to this story
Only pain and utter tyranny
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