Addiction

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Addiction

by Kumbu

She craved serenity

A piece of mind always seemed in the far distance so she welcomed the calamity

She had always had it harder. Had to fight a little more for what she wanted

She’d feel up so high till all her hopes crash landed

It had never been easy, never calmed down smoothly

Instead, blowing winds and rushing waves hitting against the walls of her tormented mind

Constantly slipping off unable to weather the storm or calm the tide

Rather grab on to the control and withstand the bumpy ride

She watched from a distance as he grabbed her waist

Her lips swaying to the music all so elegantly as he lost himself in her like his brain had been laced

She had been replaced

At least in that moment when she needed him the most, she had been replaced

Misplaced emotion fill her up. She takes a couple more shots

This will numb the pain

At dawn, he returns

Her kryptonite, her mistake

He could rub his fingers together and she could break

See, she had tried to stop herself from falling, fought it with every breathe

But all the fight did was eat at her strength

‘I Love you too’

The words echoed through her and she broke in two

He had played his final card, banged his gavel

Not knowing what he unleashed was havoc

She clung to him like mud to a shoe

Washed off every time then stuck again whenever he wanted her to

She smiled, oblivious to the power that he had over her

She drifted for a while

With fantasies of early mornings and forever after

Evening fights and late night laughter

Mistaking love for torture

As she hang on to the hopes that bound her

“Just a little bit longer” She muffled under her breathe. “Just love me a little bit harder”

The arms she craved around her would be the very hands to harm her

Her connection from imagination to reality severed

Reality, now loopy

There is no happily ever after and yet she clung on only to postpone the misery

The inevitable pain that awaits at the end of the roller coaster ride of the ride that she got on singularly with the sole reason to enjoy one last ride

To feel one last high

“I’m fine” she said as she put poison to her lips

She cradles him slowly with the rhythm in her body and watches him fall

‘Stop Him!’ her conscious screams but she’s beyond saving, out of control

The damage has been done and the option for retreat withdrawn

And in the painful silence she admits this drug, this addiction

This weakness can be used as ammunition

Eyes watery and legs shaking

There is no happy ending to this story

Only pain and utter tyranny

 

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